Rev. Fr. Emmanuel Emenike Onyia.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I FAIL TO FORGIVE OTHER
PEOPLE?
The word forgiveness is often used to
express compassionate feelings that support a willingness to let go of a
mistake or an offence committed against someone. It is a word we desire to hear
from others but very difficult to offer to others. Little wonder in our Lord’s
prayer, there is a portion that points out something so important about the
word forgiveness. This portion says “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive
those who trespassed against us” (Matt.6:12).
In this prayer, we have a fundamental
principle of Christian life, by which we make a covenant and commitment that
will be a standard through which we are going to be judged as regards our
relationship with others and with God. But often we are not conscious of
these principles especially when we have to face the difficult moment of
forgiving a grievous offence.
Thus, St. Peter being conscious of this
fact, asked Jesus in our Gospel passage today, ‘Lord, how often must I forgive
my brother if he wrongs me? As often as seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘Not
seven, I tell you, but seventy times seven. And he practicalized his answer
with an example of a servant who owed his master a huge debt that he and his
generation could not pay. But when he pleads for mercy, the master forgave him all
the debts.
However, this same servant found a fellow
servant who owed him as little as one hundred denarii, he seized him by the
throat and began to throttle him and even when he pleaded for mercy, instead of
forgiving him, he put him in prison according to the norms of the law until he
had paid his debt.
This unforgiven servant did to his fellow
servant what the master could have done to him, but did not. When the master
heard how he treated his fellow servant, he said to him: “You wicked servant! I
have forgiven you all your debt because you appealed to me. Were you not bound
then to have pity on your fellow servant just as I had pity on you?
And, angry, the master handed him over to
the torturers till he should pay all his debts.” Jesus then said this is how my
heavenly Father will deal with you unless you each forgive your brother from
your heart.’ For God will apply the principle he has given us in our Lord’s
Prayer, which automatically puts us where we properly belong based on how we
have related to others.
In this story, we see the extreme estimate
of the debt the servant owed his master, ten thousand talents, even if he and
his family had to work their whole life, they would never have been able to pay
that debt. This is because a denarius is a day's wage for a common workingman. While one talent
is 6,000 denarii or 20 years of daily wages. That means he would need to work
6,000 days to earn one talent and we are talking about ten thousand talents. That
is 60,000,000 denarii or 200,000years compared to 100days his fellow servant
owed him
So, that’s a huge amount, in fact, there
was no comparison between the two debtors at all. However, this is meant to
expose to us the ugly attitude of unforgiveness and also help us to understand
that our debt before God is so huge and countless that we cannot be able to pay
them.
And this is why we must forgive others,
for we are told in our first reading that resentment and anger are nothing but
foul things, and both are found among sinners. For he who exacts vengeance will
experience the vengeance of the Lord, who keeps strict account of our sin. Thus
we must forgive our neighbour for the wrongs they have done to us so that when
we pray, our sins will be forgiven.
We must remember the covenant with our
Lord and so overlook the offence of others and live by the commandments in
conscious of the events of the last day, the day of judgement after death. For
this reason, St. Paul in our second reading tells us that the life and death of
each of us have its influence on others; if we live, we live for the Lord; and
if we die, we die for the Lord, so that alive or dead we belong to the Lord. So
why not forgive others who have wronged us?
Dear friends, the question we need to ask
ourselves is: what happens when we fail to forgive other people? What will
happen is that we will not be forgiven by God. Also, the negative consequences
of not forgiving other people can lead to emotional pain and bust of anger,
hatred, hurtful feelings, resentment, bitterness, stress, anxiety, depression
and blaming others for our negative feelings which can create health issues,
negative effects in our relationships with others and stop us from experiencing
the freedom that forgiveness offers.
Friends, there is no doubt that forgiving
a grievous offence can be very difficult. But there are many reasons why we
must forgive and one of these strong reasons is that forgiveness is like recovering
a lost treasure that contains: inner joy, peace, freedom and healing. So my dear friends, are there people we have
vowed not to forgive? Have people hurt us so badly that we can’t forgive them?
Have we offended people and cannot be humble enough to ask for their
forgiveness? Do we think that our sins are so huge for God to forgive? Are we
finding it difficult to forgive those who have offended us?
Today Jesus is asking us to learn how to
forgive others unconditionally from our hearts so that God will also forgive us
always and unconditionally. Therefore, we must never refuse to forgive or
reject an offer of reconciliation in our relationship with God and with our
fellow human beings and if this becomes difficult, we must bring it to Jesus in
prayer for our palmist tells us that our Lord is compassionate and loving, slow
to anger and rich in mercy.
LET US PRAY: Lord God, our debts are so
huge in comparison with the little debts of forgiveness others owe us. As we
make it a habit to forgive others from our hearts, may we experience your mercy
and discover the hidden treasures that forgiveness brings. We ask this through
Christ our Lord. Amen. Do have a grace-filled Sunday celebration.
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